There is nothing like feeling all over the place with your health. My feet and hands constantly felt like icicles, my body temperature always seemed lower than everyone else’s. Give me 80 degrees and up, and I’m fine. I love the sun. You don’t have to second-guess me getting my vitamin D. Although I grew up in Michigan, the cold and I have never been friends. But my cold wasn’t like everyone else’s. I felt the chill three times over, and my body just wouldn’t cooperate. What’s wrong with me?
I’ve been in constant pain. My head itched as if bugs were crawling around inside it. I scratched so much I caused sores on my scalp. I tried to stop to avoid thinning my hair, but the itch was unbearable. My feet—oh, my feet! I’d have to sleep with socks on because they’d get so cold they’d nearly turn blue. And I’m a chocolate lady! To warm them, I’d sit on my hands or tuck them between my legs. Luckily, my blood pressure has always been pretty stable, though there was a time it dropped below 100/60. I think my consistent workouts helped balance some of my symptoms. But nothing explained my body’s unrelenting struggle with temperature regulation.
Who knew it was that beautiful butterfly at work again—my thyroid—trying to function but operating below the radar? I didn’t. I’ve always disliked the cold, but as a child, I thought that’s just how winter felt. As I grew older, it worsened. Who feels this cold during summer? Me. I do. I prayed for relief, but how could I find it when no one could tell me the cause?
And then there’s my voice. Losing it felt like another cruel joke my body played on me. It takes ages to recover when it happens. I know I’ve already spoken about my breath being taken in my last blog, but my voice? My voice is my identity, my power, my expression. Losing it felt like losing a part of myself.
I’m not done sharing yet. In my next blog, I’ll delve into the unpredictable battle with my weight. Will this ever stop? Can anyone help me? Am I destined to drown in this pain and never find peace in my body? These questions haunted me. When is it my turn to feel normal, or is this my reality now?
No need to complain, right? This is my life. Thankfully, the Lord gave me a high tolerance for pain and agony. But even the strongest hearts can grow weary. For now, I press on, seeking answers, holding onto hope, and sharing my journey so others know they are not alone.
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